Thomas The Dank Engine 2: The Choo-quel
by Skippysgotmail
Summary: Thomas is back and danker than ever! But trouble lies ahead when Bill the bully returns with a few upgrades to ruin Thomas' life! Find out what happens next in this incredibly inaccurate depiction of Thomas the tank engine!


Thomas the _Dank_ Engine 2: The Choo-quel

Once upon a time in a faraway land, yet again, there lived a train named Thomas. Last time we met our beloved anthropomorphic train he was going to high school so he could be a real boy like he always dreamed of becoming.

Thomas still currently resides in the home of Sir Topham Hatt.

Sadly, Sir Topham Hatt was unfortunate to find out that his job working in the rice fields was going out of business. Such terrible news was burdened on the sweet chubby old man's freckled shoulders.

"How am I going to provide for my train son!" asked Sir Topham Hatt to himself.

"Don't worry daddy, I'll keep going to high school and get smart so that I can make all the money for you!" said Thomas as a way to cheer Sir Topham Hatt up.

Sir Topham Hatt grew even more depressed because he knew Thomas was failing every class he took, including Study Hall, so he knew he was an idiot.

"Whatever you say, son." Sir Topham Hatt responded in a tired manner.

Sir Topham Hatt looked out his rusty grease-stained window for a while, contemplating what to do in such an awful situation. He would occasionally look at Thomas to see what he was doing. To his misfortune, he only saw Thomas do weird things such as: rub toothpaste on his left shoulder, scream the word ' _Bon Jovi_ ' whenever he saw the mailman, and feel his leg hair for a linear amount of time. All things seemed bleak for the creepy old man.

[The Next Day]

When the morning came Thomas got ready for school doing his usual routine as Sir Topham Hatt sat at the kitchen table with a glass of expired orange juice from the 80s, drinking from it to escape the pain.

When Thomas was ready for school he opened the main door and looked back at Sir Topham Hatt. "I'm off to school, love you dad! See you later!"

Sir Topham Hatt responded by screeching, "Hueeeehhahhhguhhhh!"

Thomas looked in disgust then left.

Once Thomas left, Sir Topham Hatt chugged the remaining moldy orange juice then placed his face on the table to sulk for the remainder of the day.

Meanwhile, Thomas arrived at school ten minutes late, causing Mr. Ferdinand to go insane.

"Why must you be late every morning?" asked Mr. Ferdinand in fury.

"Well-I-I-" replied Thomas.

"Just sit down!"

Thomas sat down as quietly as he could so he would not make a scene. After that, Mr. Ferdinand began another boring lecture.

A few periods go by until History comes around. Thomas hated history because he would always get triggered when the teacher talked about the Transcontinental Railroad which happened a lot.

In History the entire class was taking a test that day. Thomas told himself he did not need to study for the test because he was a train.

As Thomas was taking the test, he felt something wet hit his caboose. Thomas made an expression of disgust and aggravation on his face and looked at the back row. Behind him sat Bill the bully, but the new and improved version. Bill the bully was now part cyborg because of the collateral damage that Thomas inflicted on him. One eye was red and the other was covered by an eye patch. His hair was in dreadlocks and his face was still pale and chubby with peach fuzz on his upper lip.

"Good to see _you_ again, train boy." said Bill.

"What do you want with me, Bill?" asked Thomas.

"I'm gonna return the favor for hitting me with your train body!"

"And what exactly are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna make you fail this test!"

Thomas gasped at the bully's lame threat. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I will!" Bill followed by adding a maniacal distorted laugh.

Bill finished by farting so bad that it made Thomas go unconscious for ten minutes straight. The smell corroded Thomas' train nose. However, his nose was not the only victim of this foul stench, his mouth was opened at just the right time to allow the odors to enter into his train mouth.

Thomas eventually awoke by the time class was over.

"Deeughhhahhhahhhhugghhh!" Thomas shouted in pure agony. "What...did you...eat this morning?"

"Eggs, toothpaste, and raw oysters." said Bill mildly.

Thomas was astound that a human was capable of creating such disgusting odors. Thomas was furious because he knew after that incident he surely did not pass the test.

Thomas strutted up to Bill the cyborg bully and starred at him with anger in his eyes. "What the _junk_ is wrong with you!"

The entire student body at that high school heard what Thomas said. Everyone gasped, even Bill the cyborg bully. Thomas had said a swear. Mr. Ferdinand approached Thomas crawling on the ground screeching like a banshee because of what he had just heard come from Thomas' mouth.

"Yyooouuuu'rrreee cooommmiinnngg wiitthh meee!" said Mr. Ferdinand with a distorted scream.

Thomas looked around confused. "What did I do?"

"You said a swear!"

"I did?"

"Yes! You used the 'j' word!"

"Junk?"

Everyone gasped again around Thomas' big train body.

Mr. Ferdinand broke his back out of anger because of what Thomas had repeated. "You dirty train!"

"Junk isn't a bad word." responded Thomas.

Everyone gasped once again as Thomas could not keep his stupid train mouth shut.

Mr. Ferdinand plucked his eye lashes one by one out of anger from the foul language Thomas was using. "I'm calling your parents!"

"Go ahead. My dad isn't gonna care!" Thomas said confidently.

Mr. Ferdinand called up Sir Topham Hatt and told him what Thomas had said. Sir Topham Hatt was very surprised as to what Thomas said. He was very disappointed in him.

After the phone call ended, Mr. Ferdinand looked at Thomas with a large grin on his face. "Pack your things. You are going home early. Your father wants to chat with you in private."

"What?"

"You heard me!"

Thomas sighed then proceeded to leave the school building to find Sir Topham Hatt waiting behind the bushes because he was a weird man.

"Thomas, is what I heard true?" Sir Topham Hatt asked.

Thomas sighed. "Yeah."

Sir Topham Hatt began to cry. "H-how could you?"

"Dad, it's not a bad word."

"To you maybe! I don't know if you've noticed, but this town is a _clean_ environment, free from vulgar language such as that! This is a kids show y'know?"

Sir Topham Hatt began to hyperventilate from all the "intense" action going on. Thomas panicked and threw up in the bushes.

Sir Topham Hatt calmed down then said, "You know what? I change my mind. Thomas...you will never be _dank_!"

Thomas gasped. "How could you say such a thing?" Thomas shed a tear and collapsed to the ground.

Sir Topham Hatt did the most reasonable thing he could do. He sprinted with Thomas on his back home and placed him up for adoption on Craigslist. Within two to five business days, Thomas was shipped off to Idaho where he lived with his new parents. Poor Thomas had to start all over again.

Thomas' new parents were...very strange. The father only went outside on days it rained and the mother was left handed. Thomas' new parents were the only weird people in town. Apparently everybody in town was ordinary. Ordinary kids, ordinary adults, ordinary pets, ordinary jobs, ordinary school, and an ordinary train station. Thomas realized just then that he was in the real world. Thomas could not believe it with his own eyes. A place were the word "junk" is a compliment compared to what people would say to you here.

Thomas was so mad that everyone he knew disowned him that he decided to _train_ himself to fight to exact his retaliation.

Thomas _trained_ for a solid two minutes until his legs gave out for no reason.

"I'm ready!" Thomas said to his lonely self.

Thomas traveled far and wide to get back home in which he eventually did after a year.

Thomas arrived back at the high school to run every one over. To his luck, everyone was graduating at the school except Thomas because he still failed all of his classes.

"Perfect timing!" Thomas said again to himself.

Thomas made a loud noise with his whistles and bells to stir up the crowd.

"Graduates, it's time to pay the piper!" Thomas exclaimed while laughing uncontrollably.

No one cared and the school continued on with the graduation. Once Thomas realized no one cared, he decided not to run them over.

So, Thomas ran to Sir Topham Hatt's house to give him what for.

At the house, Sir Topham Hatt was sound asleep from drinking too much dishwater. Thomas busted the door wide open then busted through the wall just to make sure he opened it correctly. He ran over Sir Topham Hatt thinking he was dead.

"Dad, speak to me!" Thomas shouted.

Sir Topham Hatt awoke and saw that terrifying train that we all know and love as Thomas, hovering over him. "T-Thomas?"

"Yes dad?"

"I'm so sorry I sold you on Craigslist. I should have never done that."

"It's okay dad, I forgive you."

"Thank you, son. I really do think you're _dank_ and you know I do."

Thomas giggled a bit. "Thanks dad."

Sir Topham Hatt sat on the floor for a second and began to laugh. "You know, there actually was one good thing that did come from selling you online."

"And what by chance is that?" Thomas asked.

"All this sick dough! We're rich! I never have to work another day in my life!"

"Radical!"

The two celebrated by flying off into the sunset and were never seen again just like Tracy.

THE END


End file.
